Bitching!

wadebramwilson:

givethemhorns:

wadebramwilson:

I don’t hate a lot of kinds of people, and I really prefer not to throw the word “hate” around at all if I can help it.

But one thing that I can’t stand are the kind of people who think it is okay to anonymously abuse someone. By saying this, I do mean to encompass any kind of abuse on Tumblr,…

I agree on all the above. There is just one point I personally would not fully sign under. It is a good thing in terms of etiquette and I am glad you included it, but I doubt it is very beneficial overall.

DO use anonymous if you want to respectfully disagree and you are worried about hurting your friendship with someone.

If it is something that might hurt a friendship with someone you care about going anon is hardly a solution. If you disagree to such an extent that it can hurt a friendship it may be better to either mutually agree not to discuss that topic at all  or politely state your opinion with your name under it and face the consequences.

I personally would prefer to lose a few followers over some unpopular opinion than smile and nod and later state what I REALLY think through anon. It may be nasty sometimes, but at least it’s honest.

Good point. Silly me, not being as articulate as I meant to be : )
What I meant by that is: maybe it is a sensitive question, and it is not intended as hurtful, but it has the potential depending on that individual’s beliefs? Someone like me worries about that over the smallest of things. I once went on anonymous to ask Defira about her Justice smut fic, because I thought she might find it offensive that I was questioning the physiology of it. I am all about physiology (that was basically a pun). Or she might think I was a super creep :D
Not, to hurt the friendship, that was the wrong phrasing, but maybe, stunt it. When you are getting to know someone still and you are unsure of their personal world view.
: ) 

I think I did understand you correctly. And see, things worked out nicely in the end, anon or not. I mean, if Defira didn’t know you were that anon before she definitely does now, right? :) I have a bit of a ‘real life’ approach to such things. If I believe some sensitive question may stunt a developing friendship I will do the same thing online as in real life - wait to get to know the person a bit better and then ask it as myself. Or not ask at all if I think they might consider it offensive because of their world view.

What I mean overall is… maybe Defira likes it about you that you are all about physiology. It can be a potential bonding ground. If you state that this is how you are with your name under it this statement will attract the right kind of people to you. If you post it as an anon, you are removing this possibility from yourself.

There is nothing wrong with doing it, but I think it substracts from your personal online experience a bit.

I know you are not one to avoid conflicts, and I respect it. And it didn’t pop into my head for a minute that you imply discarding any beliefs. You did make yourself perfectly clear in the DON’Ts section about getting uncivilised and personal, so I thought this one is more about being… shy, probably?

wadebramwilson:

I don’t hate a lot of kinds of people, and I really prefer not to throw the word “hate” around at all if I can help it.

But one thing that I can’t stand are the kind of people who think it is okay to anonymously abuse someone. By saying this, I do mean to encompass any kind of abuse on Tumblr,…

I agree on all the above. There is just one point I personally would not fully sign under. It is a good thing in terms of etiquette and I am glad you included it, but I doubt it is very beneficial overall.

DO use anonymous if you want to respectfully disagree and you are worried about hurting your friendship with someone.

If it is something that might hurt a friendship with someone you care about going anon is hardly a solution. If you disagree to such an extent that it can hurt a friendship it may be better to either mutually agree not to discuss that topic at all  or politely state your opinion with your name under it and face the consequences.

I personally would prefer to lose a few followers over some unpopular opinion than smile and nod and later state what I REALLY think through anon. It may be nasty sometimes, but at least it’s honest.

An amazingly interesting article raising the idea that willpower might be an expendable resource. This one has a lot of words in it, but it is worth the time. Some interesting points on ostracism, as well.